We always talk about how death comes to us when we’ve fulfilled our mission on earth, or when God deems us worthy to enter his Kingdom. But what about the people we leave behind? When does it become the right time for a loved one to leave you?

When you’ve finished college? When you’ve landed a stable job? When you’ve got a family of your own? When you no longer live with that person?

The answer’s simple, there is NO right time for a person to leave his family.

I can’t imagine at all. My mom broke the news, and I couldn’t say anything but “no”, it was an almost accusatory “no” at my mom, for saying such a horrible thing. I couldn’t even cry, out of disbelief. She texted me earlier today that something had happened to him (he’s a close friend of the family, and my dad’s bestfriend), and when I asked what, she preferred not to say. So I knew something was up, but that it was something fixable, like, he got into a car crash and got a bruise, or he had a stroke, but was recovering at the hospital.

It had to be something fixable, something that wasn’t final, something to bounce back from.

When we finally got to meet Dad at home (he was helping fix medical and funeral services <— still in disbelief of the latter), it was unreal to see my big, strong Dad talking in a tone that expressed so much grief and surprise at the same time. The worst part was when Dad told us about Tito Bobby’s son, Raphael, and how he wouldn’t eat or speak, and that he was saying things about how he had been a good boy, why couldn’t his dad stay longer? My dad finally telling him that, Raphael was now the man of the house, and he had to take care of his mom. He promised to protect mommy always, Dad told us, was Raphael’s response.

I need to thank Dad for being so strong despite him being the closest to Tito Bobby among all of us. They’d always go out together to eat, play golf and just do things two best friends do. Tito Bobby was a strong personality, and not everyone appreciated him for that, but Dad was one of the few who really understood him, and you could really see the affinity between the two. According to our maids, Tito Bobby even dropped by our house this morning and announced, “Pare, I’m home!” while dad was at a phone-meeting. Dad promised he’d just finish and visit right after, so that they could try out Tito Bobby’s new tv.

But he never got the chance. Can you imagine how much of a good mood they’d have been in, if Dad spent the afternoon at their place, with both of them just watching Dad-movies till dinnertime? THAT’s a holiday.

No one should die before Christmas, Christmas dinner is for families, it’s never complete even if just one person is missing, what more for a family of 3, with a boy of only 10? I can’t imagine someone so strong just passing away.

Every night, I pray, and during that time, I pray for loved ones who have passed away, I keep in mind their names and faces—pray that they’re in a better place, that they’re doing well, and that, though I may not see them anymore, I still keep them in my thoughts. I pray that they will watch out for me and my family from up high and keep us safe. I know that now Dad has a really strong, loyal buddy to look out for him, but losing someone that close to you, it’s like losing an arm.